Journal Entry 12.24.84

10:06pm

Well, I’m starting this over so don’t expect miracles. I gave Ben his card today. When I was walking back up the hill he saw me out of Alex’s bedroom window and whistled. I just waved. Ron dreamt about Ben and I and that Rick beat him up. I talked to Ron tonight and he might take me somewhere tomorrow. I have his picture on my wall and he is going to bring over a gift for me. I can’t go to sleep but I’m writing. I’m having a hard time with my feelings ’cause I love Ben and I always will. I like Ron so much and I would hate to lose him especially since there are about 50 girls at school who are “ga-ga” over him. He says that before the Christmas vacation is over, we are going out.

10:19pm

I’m going to start a new writing style that won’t be much different than now except instead of having my “g”s and “y”s looping, I’m going to just let them drop off. Now back to Ron, I really don’t think about Ben, but when I do, I realize that I love him very much but I don’t think I could get together with him again. I would love to go out with Ron but I think I am too straight for him. I’ll have to ask him. He told mehe would like to be my doctor and that he cared about me a lot. He also told Tonya that he like me sortof. Well, I will write more later but I have to go “write” now.

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