Journal Entry 1.16.85

1:07pm

I don’t think I know Ron at all any longer. He is so preoccupied with everyone else. I dreamt last night that I asked Ron if he liked me and he said no! So I decided to just pretend that we were just friends so I didn’t call and I didn’t come out during 5th anymore. Well, this went on for about a week and then I was at my locker for a minute during 5th and I was excited so I squealed. Ron came out but I didn’t want him to. He came over to my locker and asked how come I didn’t call or talk during 5th anymore and I said that it was because I was trying not to like him and he said why and I told him that because he said that he didn’t like me. And they he went “but I do like you”. Then I woke up.

I also dreamt that Ron and I were going to get married but after we did he was a real bigot. He made me stay home and do work and told me that I couldn’t go to do math. I hated it but I didn’t want to lose him ’cause I worked so hard to get him. It was awful but I’m sure that he isn’t really that way. He wants to read this.

1:23pm

I also had another dream, a couple of nights ago. I dreamt that my parents were going to allow me to go to California with Ron and so I was all packed and ready to go the next day. I then got a telephone call and it was Ben. He was real quiet and said this was our phone conversation.

“?”
“Yeah” “Who’s this?”
“This is Ben”
“Oh, hi!”
“There’s something I want to tell you?”
“What is it?”
“I wanted to tell you that I love you and that I never stopped and…”
“That you want me back?”
“Yeah, that’s it”
“How come you waited so long to tell me this?”
“‘Cause I didn’t know what you would say”
“Yeah but all those times I told you, you never said anything”
“Well, I didn’t know if you meant it and …”
“You wanted to drag me along as long as you could but now it is too late ’cause I have someone else already”

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