Something’s up and my brain hurts. I’ll never figure out Ron F. I hate Grace. I’ll write more later.
Well tonight was the first night of my tutoring. It didn’t go so well because Ron has a lot on his mind and he wasn’t in a learning mood. My dad is being a royal dick and so I’m going to just stay away. I’m not going to make Ron stay here anymore ’cause it is just causing problems. I feel like fighting sort of. I have a lot of things that I am angry about but I am just not going to say. I have a feeling I am going to end up crying tonight for some reason. I need to talk to Sarita. I have to learn not to get my hopes up so high. It seems like Ron is avoiding me and he always is just cruising. Everytime we plan to do something it’s like his idea of doing something is seeing me for 15 minutes. I feel like it is a hassle for him to come over and stay awhile. I have to go.
Well Ron left about an hour a 1/2 ago and things are messed up. I have been keeping my feelings of problems to myself so as not to argue and I can’t do it very well. I’m the kind of person that needs to tell what’s wrong but I’m afraid to argue or even state my problems ’cause I don’t want us to just be friends. I love him so much and I never want to lose him. Tonight it seemed as if Ron built a wall around himself.
1. No more calling for a while.
2. No more coming over.
3. He has to call and ask.
4. Be nice and say hi!
5. We’ll find out just how much I mean and if I’m important.
6. If he does come over, don’t make him stay.
Tonight he said he loved me and I just said yeah! Then I went in the house. I love him so much I wish I could show him. I hope he can come over when Sarita’s mom is gone.
I want to spend the night with him before he leaves for California. I am not going to school on the day that he isn’t there for California.