Journal Entry 12.17.83

Tonight was great. We almost played Revenge. We played Truth or Dare instead and I found out that Ben has done a lot more than I thought. I love him. We hugged, held hands, and had fun tonight. I’m going on the route tomorrow. Well got to go. This is sucky handwriting.

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Journal Entry 12.8.83

Well the weekend was boring as ever. I love B!!! Ben is so cute! I wish we saw more of each other. I wish there would be a night when I could go over to his house and his bro and parents weren’t there just him and me. I would make things happen. Steve said that Ben is afraid to do anything to anyone because he doesn’t want to get slapped. I wouldn’t slap him for anything. Steve says he’ll only go as far as the girl would go so I don’t have to worry because he wouldn’t try anyhow. He’s too considerate.

I have been going into the gym at break and it mad Cathy mad today. Well Ben goes into the gym and I like to see him. He wore a real nice shirt today. He’s so sweet. I dream about him at night. I sometimes walk to school when a train isn’t coming and Ben can talk me into it easily. I wish we would hold hands on the way there or link arms. I want to make out and more. Steve was asking me if I would slap him if Ben tried to feel me out and I said no. Hopefully Steve will tell Ben. I’ve got to get Christmas for T & T, Sarita, Rosie, Cathy, Steve, Ben, Roger, Alan, Liz. Well got to go.

Journal Entry 11.30.83

Well I was real upset today because Steve told me that Ben was avoiding me. If it’s true then I’m going to cry because I love him. I like him more than Alan and I dream about him. I haven’t seen very much of him and when I do it’s only a few minutes. I don’t want to break up. I like him to much. I wish he would ride the bus and sit with me. I miss him. All I can think of is him.

Lori is madly in love with Alan. No one on the block writes in their journal anymore. I made up with Sarita. I want to make out and more with Ben. Steve wrote our initials on the gas tank. I hope Steve’s dream that I broke up isn’t true and I hope the other one comes true. I’m way to pushy so I’m not going to bother him for a few days and see if he notices.

Later- Well Steve was really off. Ben had to go because he skipped because he got into trouble. I love him. We kissed about 3 million times. I hope they don’t walk and Ben rides the bus home too. Ben wants me to go to the dance too. Tonight was fun. I met his dad. He wants to read these notes. I’m going to let him when I get him alone. I hope we can go out this weekend. I’m so happy I hope it never ends. My handwriting sucks. Good night.

Journal Entry 11.25.83

It’s been a real long time since I last wrote. Well Alan asked Sarita and said no and he hated her for about a month. They’re friends now. Sarita’s sister Rosie moved here. Cathy and I have become good friends and Sarita is a bitch. She doesn’t know I think so.

Well Ben a boy down the street said to Steve that he liked me! Well on Saturday night he told Steve that he wanted me to keep him warm. Then on Sunday Steve told me that he wanted to go with me. I said yes because he is real cute, short, sweet, and real nice. His mood never changes, he’s always happy.

On Monday he found that I said yes. He sat by me on the bus. We then went up to the store and we hugged and said good-bye. On Tuesday, we were outside with them until late and we just hugged. On Wednesday we were outside with Cathy and Steve and we just hugged. It was my birthday and they took me downtown. On the way back we linked arms and walked. Then when we got to the warehouse, we started jumping the sign. Then I had to go home so Ben walked me home. At the door we hugged and kissed goodbye. On Thursday I didn’t see him at all. Then tonight he had to leave the arcade and so did I. So I walked with him. We started holding hands and then when we got home we kissed goodbye. I like him a lot.

I figure anyone that can get me to stop thinking about Alan for a week has got to be good. I don’t like Ben the way I liked Alan. Ben isn’t macho or tough, just sweet, and cute. Alan doesn’t like him because he is so little. He only comes up to my neck. He gave me a great card and 5 dollars for my birthday. I like him so much.

Alan still hugs me but I don’t see him very much ’cause he’s grounded. I did real good on grades. I got 4 A’s and 3 B’s. I dream about Ben. His size used to matter to me but it doesn’t anymore. HIs brother’s nice too. He’s so strange at times. So Steve can stop nagging me about kissing or holding hands or putting arms around being close to each other because now everything I do just has to do with him. I’m not going to wait around for Alan. Well got to go.

Journal Entry 10.1.83

Well Mom was being a bitch earlier but it is okay now. Well a lot has happened since I last wrote. A girl named Sarita moved here and is taking Alan away and she flirts like crazy but then Alan didn’t like her then he did again. I love him and don’t want to lose him. Steve wants to read this. I might bring you over and let Alan read you.